Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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