I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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