ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
