Soap is not a condiment
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
