drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
