THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
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Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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