You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
