I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
