Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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