Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
