I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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