why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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