You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
