Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
