its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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