she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
