you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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