So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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