i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
