you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
