well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
