i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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