At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
