is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
