i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
