She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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