i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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