My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
