You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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