you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
