You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
