Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
