dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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