we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
