I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
