I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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