would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
