True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
