this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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