and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
