I cockslap morals
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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