there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
