you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
