I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
