Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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