I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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