you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
