Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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