nut hugger
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
