I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
