God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
