my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize