My nipple is on Facebook.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize