I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize