You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
