She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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