On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
