this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
