i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
please come you make the beer taste better
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you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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