I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
