I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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