it hurts more in the daytime
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
there is puke in my bra ... again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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