I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
