she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
