just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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