I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
