got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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